I remember
by calicoskies4ever
Summary: A stylistic parody of Joe Brainard’s I remember. Chapters include Lex's memories of a good life Lex with a bad life, Clark, Kal, and maybe more.  M for language, sex, some violence, slash, and graphic rape scenes.  Please review no flames.
1. Lex

Here are my stylistic parodies of Joe Brainard's book I remember. This is the first of many including Lex with a fairly happy life, Lex with a really bad life, Clark's life slash and non slash, Kal's POV, and maybe more. Rated M for language, and graphic depictions of sexual relationships (mostly guy on guy) and some violence. Lots of slash here, and some rape scenes, you have been warned. This chapter is Lex/Lionel and Clark/Lex, but both of them are good relationships.

I remember lying on the couch with my father, doing breathing treatments for my asthma while we both read the _Daily Planet_.

I remember sitting at the kitchen table listening to my mother talk to my father on the phone. They were fighting, and this was the first time I remember witnessing anything like that.

I remember my father laughing when I told him I wanted to be a fireman when I grew up. He took me to his office the next day, and while it wasn't my first time there it was the first time he allowed me to watch his interactions with who he referred to as associates. The way he talked to people, the respect he got…I thought my father was some kind of a superhero.

I remember two kids knocking me down in the dirt, and kicking and hitting me, taking my inhaler away on the first day of school. I was too scared to tell anyone what happened so I lied and said I fell down the stairs, but Mom knew, and she kept me home for two days, and called the school.

I remember my mother teaching me how to bake a cake, a birthday cake for my father.

I remember Dad carrying me around on his shoulders, like I was a king.

I remember being so bored in school, that I used to get up early, go to dad's library, sneak a book into my backpack, and then I'd sit in class with the book in my lap, reading it instead of coloring in pictures of apples, balloons, or cats, or whatever.

I remember the first time anyone—my parents, my teacher—told me I was different, gifted they said. I don't think I've ever seen my father more proud of me, which is sad really, because I was five at the time and now I'm almost 30.

I remember when my mom first got sick. I remember the sound of the word more than anything. _Cancer_.

I remember repeating it to myself over and over, cancer, as though it was foreign, alien, impossible. That ammonia stench still makes me want to cry.

I remember the day that bastard reporter came to my school. "Lex, Lex Luthor, can we talk to you? How did you feel about your mother's passing?" You know that old cliché 'it hit me like a ton of bricks?' Well it's true; that's how you feel.

I remember getting drunk a few nights after I came home for the funeral, going to my father's room, nearly breaking the door down. When I saw he was crying too, I tried to hit him, but he hugged me so close I couldn't move. He held me all night long and we cried, and cried, and cried, and then I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew the sun was shining in through the window, and I was rubbing my eyes. I felt his body pressing against mine, and for one terrifying second I didn't know where I was or whose stomach my erection was pressing up against.

I remember the feel of his hand on my shoulder, and his lips on my forehead. "Do you understand what's happening there, kiddo?" he asked. It took him a while to figure out what I wanted, and at first he wouldn't. He wasn't going to hurt me, he said. He couldn't do something like that to his own child. I'll never forget the contrasting feel of his soft mouth and scratchy facial hair on my chest, stomach, pelvis, his lips wrapping around my cock. "I love you Lex," he told me a million times, afterwards. Ever since then he always says, I love you, after.

I remember going to clubs just to meet guys, telling them my name was Joey, or Max, or something stupid so they wouldn't know who I really was, so I wouldn't cause a scandal.

I remember smoking a joint with my roommate my first week at Met U. I asked him to fuck me, and he did, but I was the only one people called, "fag," when he told the whole school the next day.

I remember Dad smacking me when I came home the day after that.

I remember him saying, "If you ever do anything this stupid again, I _will_ disinherit you!"

I remember the exact look on my face when he told me I was being sent to Smallville, because we were standing in front of a mirror.

I remember the look on Clark's face when I came to after the accident.

I remember masturbating to his picture everyday. I used to think about having a threesome with him, and my father, and how I used to have to pay my dates when I accidentally called them, Clark, during sex.

I remember our first kiss. Clark was high on red kryptonite, and he just burst into my office, and kissed me, roughly, grinding his crotch against mine, and then suddenly he was gone.

I remember waking up in the wine cellar with Clark leaning over me, gently touching my face. I said I wasn't hurt, but he insisted on carrying me upstairs. He said he'd never done anything with a man before, but it would have been obvious even if he hadn't. We made out for so long I came about three seconds after he got my pants off.

I only remember how big his eyes got when he begged me for forgiveness and told me his secret.

I do remember later the same day, when I fucked him so hard it hurt _me_. Clark just held my body in his arms, kissing everywhere.

I remember the first time Clark said, "I love you."

I remember the fist time I said it back.

I remember the night he whisked me off to Vegas to get married, and I learned that people really can live happily ever after, even me.

I remember being happy, truly happy, just knowing that the two of us were together.


	2. Clark

AN: Chapter two from Clark's point of view, with Lex/Clark slash sexual relationship.

I remember my mother, Lara, her face leaning over me, and her voice. I hear her voice in my dreams at night. I've always heard it, but it wasn't until I was in the memory bath that I figured out why.

I remember playing hide and seek with my dad, while Mom was making dinner, and I accidentally ran into the table leg. Suddenly, there was the clinking sound of plates falling to the ground, and half of the table was actually in my lap, on top of me, and the weird thing was, it didn't hurt. Mom and Dad pretended it was no big deal, "that table has been falling apart for years," my father told me, and when he fixed the leg, he let me hold the nails, and carry his tools from the shed to the house, and back.

I remember when I was six, and I was playing tag with Dad, and all of a sudden I started running faster than I'd ever run before, and I was in the middle of Palmer Woods, completely lost. And Mom and Dad had to all Sheriff Ethan, and when my mom saw me she started crying, and I thought there was something wrong with me. And she said, no there wasn't. And then she held me in her arms and told me I was just special. I was just her special boy.

I remember sitting in the backyard at Pete's house, and his brother told us to hide a magazine for him. We said we would, but we looked at it before we buried it. I remember the two of us looking at pictures of naked women and trying to figure out what we were supposed to feel.

I remember feeling sick, and hurt for no reason at all, and I couldn't figure out why I got better as soon as I was back at our house.

I remember trying to cook breakfast for my parents once, and I put butter on the bread before I put it in the toaster.

I remember when I used to stay up all night looking through my telescope.

I remember when I woke up with a hard on for the first time. I sat in bed for an hour, without touching it because I thought I was dying. When I went to the bathroom it went away, but I was still scared.

I remember touching myself, and trying to think about Lana, her eyes like two beautiful, black pools of light, the way she smiled without opening her mouth, but it never worked.

I remember my first day of high school because I accidentally popped a basketball in gym class. It made this sound like I'd blown it up with dynamite.

I remember locking eyes with Lex as we went off the bridge, and I got a raging hard on.

I remember laying his body out on the grass, unsure what I should do, give him CPR, or take his clothes off.

I remember the look in his eyes when he came to. He looked like an angel, and I wanted to scream, I love you, but I was too chicken. I remember wanting to tell him the truth, and even more desperately wishing I knew what that actually was.

I remember getting another hard on the first time he ever hugged me. I'm still not sure who was more embarrassed at first, but then he kissed my mouth and I knew we'd be together forever.

I remember the way his mouth tasted, and I remember asking him to go slow, not because I was scared, but 'cuz I never wanted to forget anything that happened that day.

I remember pulling Lex's shirt up over his head, and sucking on his nipples, and even sticking my tongue into his belly button. I put my hand on his belt, on his zipper, inside his pants, inside his underpants, pulling his cock out, and putting it in my mouth.

I remember the taste of his cum, salty and sweet. It tasted so good I always wanted to keep sucking even after he came.

I remember laying in bed later, my body wrapped around his, my hand right over his heart, and I thought that I would be happy just to lie there holding him, forever.

I remember the feel of Lex's silky boxers between my fingers.

I remember hating Lana because he wanted to be married, because he had to be. She got to marry him, and have his child, and live happily ever after with the love of _my_ life.

I remember thinking I could convince Lana not to show up at the church on their wedding day, and then I thought I'd be able to just come by and get Lex to marry me.

I remember his hands, so smooth, and soft, and thin, with the most amazing skin, and the cleanest nails I ever saw on anybody, guy or girl.

I remember loving Lex, always and forever.


	3. Lex abuse version

AN: Chapter two from Clark's point of view, with Lex/Clark slash sexual relationship.

I remember my mother, Lara, her face leaning over me, and her voice. I hear her voice in my dreams at night. I've always heard it, but it wasn't until I was in the memory bath that I figured out why.

I remember playing hide and seek with my dad, while Mom was making dinner, and I accidentally ran into the table leg. Suddenly, there was the clinking sound of plates falling to the ground, and half of the table was actually in my lap, on top of me, and the weird thing was, it didn't hurt. Mom and Dad pretended it was no big deal, "that table has been falling apart for years," my father told me, and when he fixed the leg, he let me hold the nails, and carry his tools from the shed to the house, and back.

I remember when I was six, and I was playing tag with Dad, and all of a sudden I started running faster than I'd ever run before, and I was in the middle of Palmer Woods, completely lost. And Mom and Dad had to all Sheriff Ethan, and when my mom saw me she started crying, and I thought there was something wrong with me. And she said, no there wasn't. And then she held me in her arms and told me I was just special. I was just her special boy.

I remember sitting in the backyard at Pete's house, and his brother told us to hide a magazine for him. We said we would, but we looked at it before we buried it. I remember the two of us looking at pictures of naked women and trying to figure out what we were supposed to feel.

I remember feeling sick, and hurt for no reason at all, and I couldn't figure out why I got better as soon as I was back at our house.

I remember trying to cook breakfast for my parents once, and I put butter on the bread before I put it in the toaster.

I remember when I used to stay up all night looking through my telescope.

I remember when I woke up with a hard on for the first time. I sat in bed for an hour, without touching it because I thought I was dying. When I went to the bathroom it went away, but I was still scared.

I remember touching myself, and trying to think about Lana, her eyes like two beautiful, black pools of light, the way she smiled without opening her mouth, but it never worked.

I remember my first day of high school because I accidentally popped a basketball in gym class. It made this sound like I'd blown it up with dynamite.

I remember locking eyes with Lex as we went off the bridge, and I got a raging hard on.

I remember laying his body out on the grass, unsure what I should do, give him CPR, or take his clothes off.

I remember the look in his eyes when he came to. He looked like an angel, and I wanted to scream, I love you, but I was too chicken. I remember wanting to tell him the truth, and even more desperately wishing I knew what that actually was.

I remember getting another hard on the first time he ever hugged me. I'm still not sure who was more embarrassed at first, but then he kissed my mouth and I knew we'd be together forever.

I remember the way his mouth tasted, and I remember asking him to go slow, not because I was scared, but 'cuz I never wanted to forget anything that happened that day.

I remember pulling Lex's shirt up over his head, and sucking on his nipples, and even sticking my tongue into his belly button. I put my hand on his belt, on his zipper, inside his pants, inside his underpants, pulling his cock out, and putting it in my mouth.

I remember the taste of his cum, salty and sweet. It tasted so good I always wanted to keep sucking even after he came.

I remember laying in bed later, my body wrapped around his, my hand right over his heart, and I thought that I would be happy just to lie there holding him, forever.

I remember the feel of Lex's silky boxers between my fingers.

I remember hating Lana because he wanted to be married, because he had to be. She got to marry him, and have his child, and live happily ever after with the love of _my_ life.

I remember thinking I could convince Lana not to show up at the church on their wedding day, and then I thought I'd be able to just come by and get Lex to marry me.

I remember his hands, so smooth, and soft, and thin, with the most amazing skin, and the cleanest nails I ever saw on anybody, guy or girl.

I remember loving Lex, always and forever.


End file.
